写作之家!您身边的写作助手!请记住我们域名:4218.cn

雅思写作真题9分范文分享

androidx86.net 分享 时间: 加入收藏 我要投稿 点赞

每次的雅思写作考试之后,必定是有一波范文的放出,今天小编就给大家带来了雅思大作文高分范文,希望能够帮助到大家,下面小编就和大家分享,来欣赏一下吧。

雅思写作真题9分范文分享犯罪减少最佳办法

In most countries, prison is the most common solution for the problem of crime. However, the more effective solution is to provide people with better education so that they do not become criminals.To what extent do you agree or disagree.

雅思写作话题解析

很多考鸭的立场是这样的:better education 和 prison 都好都有用,因此一样有效,一团和气,不得罪任何人,那考官就要得罪你了。

以上的立场,根本就不是一个明确的立场。

此外,A和B都有效,不代表它们一样有效。一样有效,是考鸭爱走的捷径。这样确实可以减少很多思考。

我们来想想如何处理。首先,让考鸭们无法释怀的一点,prison 和 better education 都是有效的,其次,再问问你的心,到底哪个更有效?多数人会觉得是 better education 吧

参考思路

长远看来,better education 更有效;但是针对一些 better education 无法改善的人,仍然需要 prison.即prison 是 better education 的补充

主体段的展开:

1. 为什么 better education 更有效

2. better education 无法改善的人是谁

雅思写作9分范文

开头段

Opinions differ on the extent to which incarceration deals effectively with crime as opposed to improving the quality of education. My view is that there will always be a role for prisons in confining evil people, but better education is more likely to reduce crime levels.

主体段1:讨论 prison 的作用

Confining criminals to prison is likely to always be necessary at least to some extent. There are currently a large number of people in jail for serious offences like murder and, for them, preventive education would come too late. It is more important that society continue to be protected from them than to release them in the hope that they might reform by virtue of educational programmes. Another reality is the fact that some people choose to commit serious wrongdoings no matter how much education they have received. This is the case for many white-collar crimes such as fraud which often involve the elaborate schemes that only very intelligent people could devise.

1) 犯了谋杀罪等重罪的大量囚犯,靠防止犯罪的教育来改变他们,已经太迟了。保护人们不受他们的伤害,比释放他们并指望通过教育来改造他们,更重要。

2) 有些人无论接受了多少教育,都会选择犯罪。很多白领犯罪,比如诈骗,就是需要高智商的人才能设计出来的。

主体段2:讨论 better education 的作用

Nevertheless, improvements to education would, in my view, be a better means of reducing the number of people who want to commit crime in the long-term. Acquiring more useful knowledge especially when young would provide greater opportunities for entry into satisfying careers. Further education opens up new possibilities in terms of developing healthy interests and participating in worthwhile activities such as sports and hobbies. Better education would achieve improved outcomes such as a proficiency in a sport rather than just a passing interest. The more people achieve personal goals in terms of their careers or hobbies, the more people will find meaning in life and thus not be tempted to use their talents in illegal ways.

1) 获取更多有用的知识,尤其在年轻的时候,会给人带去更大的机会,进入体面的职业。

2) 中学后的深造,为人们培养健康的兴趣和参加有意义的活动,提供了新的可能性。

3) 更好的教育能带来更好的结果,比如对某项运动转瞬即逝的兴趣变成了熟练。

越多的人在职业和爱好方面达到了目标,就有越多的人找到生命的意义,因此不会被诱惑将自己的才华运用到违法的事情上。

结尾段

In conclusion, I acknowledge the place that imprisonment will have in protecting society from serious offenders who have already committed crimes. However crime levels are more likely to fall more drastically over the longer term by reason of improvement to education.

2018年5月12日雅思小作文真题范文解析

雅思写作小作文解析

这是一道典型的动态双饼图,难度中等。第一种方法是按照变化趋势划分,将数值的上升和下降分开两段来写。第二种方法是按照时间划分,把1997年和2007年的各行业用水的比值依次描述。范文全文共计7句话。

雅思写作小作文范文

The pie charts make a clear comparison in terms of how water was distributed in a range of industries in Sydney of Australia between 1997 and 2007.

According to the data, it is evident that in 1997, almost one half amount of water (48%) was allocated in food industry while a collective 47% could be found in the remaining sectors including service, manufacturing and household where water was more equally shared, ranging from 13% to 19%. It is building part that consumed the least proportion of water at merely 5%.

A decade later, significant changes had occurred with food industry dropping considerably by 7%, although it still ranked the top. In addition, the water use in building industry and manufacturing industry also declined, but only by 3% to 2% and 11% respectively. On the contrary, there was an upward trend in water consumption of household and that of service industry which finally approached 21% and exactly one quarter.

Overall, although food industry always played a dominant role in water use, the other parts such as manufacturing and household also had a rising demand.范文原创自小站老师Alice.Hua

老外带你解读雅思写作真题 进口食物利弊

题目来自2018年5月13日真题In some countries, it is possible for people to have a variety of food that has been transported from all over the world. People can enjoy a wide range of food imported from other countries. Is it a positive or negative development?

老外解读雅思写作话题

Advantages

1. new commercial opportunities 新的商业机会(为产品找到更多销售渠道)

2. sell excess food 卖掉过剩的食物

3. alleviate food shortages 缓解食物短缺(部分地区)

4. give employment and improve living standards of farmers and agricultural workers 向农场主和农业工作人员提供工作机会,并改善生活质量

5. improve quality of life with wider variety of tastes and eating experiences 通过更丰富口味的食物和多样的饮食体验来提升生活质量

6. increase cultural awareness and promote positive links with other cultures 提升文化意识,促进我们和其他文化的积极联系

7. ensure availability of food all year round irrespective of seasonal fluctuations or temporary shortages in some regions 即使季节变化,部分地区短期食物短缺,同样确保全年都有食物

Disadvantages

1. profits made mainly by multinationals rather than individual growers 利润主要给了跨国公司,而不是种植者

2. a large amount of unnecessary activity which generates pollution – transport, distribution, etc. 运输、分配等大量不必要的活动,造成污染

3. could make the production of traditional foods and crops in some countries uneconomic 让一些国家传统的食物生产和庄稼种植没有利润(现代化的大规模生产方式,成本低)

4. significant global economic changes can have disproportionate effect on prices, loss of skills and perhaps increases in unemployment in some areas 巨大的全球经济变化会对价格产生影响,导致生产技能的丢失以及一些地区的人口失业

5. lose touch with nature – times and seasons which traditionally we respected 不再尊重我们传统上尊重的自然,即时间和季节(这个季节不该有的,就不该吃到)

分论点的好坏

关于想分论点,我从来都鼓励学生打开脑洞去做。但是,这并不意味着打开脑洞后想到的点都是好的。

好的分论点,具有“合理性”。这种合理,建立在对世界正确的认知之上;换句话说,建立在对世界错误的认知(即背景知识)上的分论点,都是“不合理”的。

当然,其实多数考鸭的问题并不是想出了非常离谱的分论点,而是想到了和题目“相关”的分论点,然而这种相关性太弱。

考鸭在写作中使用的点,不仅受思维的限制,还受语言的限制。比如,想到了合理的点,但是因为语言能力不足而放弃,写了不那么合理的点;又如,想到了合理的点,而且也写了,但是自己并不知道写下的句子没有表达自己想表达的意思。

下文是老外雅思老师在看过很多中国学生的作文后写下的肺腑之言

Communicating meaning is always the number one priority in language. When you have something you really want to say to someone, this helps you choose your words carefully.

传达意思,是语言使用最优先要考虑的事儿。当你有一件很想告诉别人的事的时候,试图去传达意思能够帮助你小心地选择用词(就更有可能选到合适的)。

When you just want to sound sophisticated and don’t care about the content of your words, then you end up saying incoherent nonsense.

当你只想让英语母语者听起来高大上并且不在乎你语言表达的内容时,你就会说一些不连贯的废话(因为英语母语者不明白这些话语的含义)。

老外带你解读雅思写作真题 减少影视里的暴力情节

The government should control the amount of violence in films and on television in order to decrease the level of violent crime in society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

老外雅思写作话题解读For controls

1. Every society has vulnerable people – such as children, people with learning difficulties – who are not able to make good decisions about the content of visual media that they watch; they need protection from disturbing content and parents or carers are not always willing or able to protect them;每个社会都有脆弱的人,比如孩子,有学习障碍的人。他们在看过媒体提供的内容后哦,无法做出正确的决定。他们需要保护,免受这些内容的影响,而父母和其他照顾他们的人不总是乐意或者有能力去保护他们。The tolerance of violent visual media is inconsistent with the values of a society which wishes to promote altruism and kindness among citizens忍受媒体的暴力内容,和社会的价值观不符。社会希望市民发扬利他主义和善意。There is considerable anecdotal evidence that serial killers and terrorists consumed a lot of violent images before committing their crimes.有相当多的传闻表明,连环杀手在犯罪前看了大量的暴力画面。

让步反驳

Though it may be impossible to scientifically prove that watching violence leads to more acts of violence being committed, our common sense tells us that what we consume has an effect on our personalities and our actions over the longer term.虽然不大可能科学地论证看暴力画面会引发更多暴力行为,但是我们的常识告诉我们,我们消费(接收)的东西,经过比较长的时间后,对我们的人格和行为有影响。

老外雅思写作话题解读Against controls

1. Individual liberty – watching films per se does not directly damage other people and so everyone should be free to make their own moral judgments about what kind of media content they watch个人自由。看电影本质上不会直接让我们损害别人,所以人人都应该有自由 就他们所观看的媒体内容 做自己的道德判断。2. It is simply impracticable for governments to control the access to media content of millions or even billions of users; doing so could also require a dangerous level of state intrusion into the private lives of citizens让政府控制数以百万甚至数十亿的用户在媒体上观看什么内容,就是不可行的。这样做还会打扰市民的私人生活,这种打扰甚至会达到一个危险的程度。

老外雅思写作话题解读总结

支持:1. 暴力内容对没有判断能力的人的影响 2. 暴力的宣扬和社会价值观不符(大部分考鸭不会想到的点) 3. 暴力内容和恐怖主义相关(这种相关性不强的点,可以写,但是不能作为主要的分论点来使用,也就不能放在前面写)4. (让步反驳)虽然暴力画面和暴力行为的发生无法科学地论证,但是我们的常识判断它们是有联系的(这一点的思考展示了批判性思维,很多人会混淆“科学”和“常识”,把人人都认同的东西当做是科学,就不会做这样的区分)

反对:1. 人们有自由做自己的道德判断 2. 政府控制用户不可行(对可行性的考虑,政府相关话题可以套用)3. 政府控制用户会侵犯市民的隐私(上一点的延伸)

写好这个题目,并不是要求考鸭想到或者用到以上全部的点,但是以上大部分的点和题目的相关性都是非常高的,事宜建议采用以上的观点,虽然不必全部使用。


221381
领取福利

微信扫码领取福利

微信扫码分享