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2020托福写作低分的5大原因

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托福写作:写作低分的5大原因

致命伤1: 照抄题目,照搬原文

抄的轻的稍微改一个两个词,但是还有真的是一字不改的照抄,怎么抄的呢?

例如有道题的题目是”Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?Children can benefit in important ways from taking care of a pet animal.“,然后童鞋第一句话真的让人怀疑是不是直接Ctrl C+Ctrl V了。

童鞋第一句话是:”For the question if I agree or disagree with the following statement? Children can benefit in important ways from taking care of a pet animal. Well, as far as I am concerned...”

致命伤2: 论据根本不能证明自己的观点

屏幕前的小伙伴请不要嘲笑别人,这个问题实在太普遍了。

有一次一个童鞋在写TPO28的独立题(Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Parents today are more involved in their children's education than parents were in the past.)时候,第一段是这么写的:“孩子的教育受到重视,孩子的将来也取决于他们的表现,家长们很关心孩子的教育。因此我同意现在的家长比从前更重视参与到孩子的教育中去了。

大家看到这感觉到问题的所在了么,这位童鞋一直在说“现在孩子的教育受到家长重视”,然而这并不能证明“现在的家长比从前更加重视参与到孩子的教育中去了”呀。童鞋们,要切题,要切题呐~~~

致命伤3: 假大空的废话一大堆

如果说上一个致命伤太普遍的话,那这个致命伤真的是太普遍~太普~遍~太~普~普普普~遍~了~~~感受到了老师上一句话有多空旷了吗,是的,就是这种感觉。

其实这个假大空的废话,由于我国的教育制度和语文作文理念多年的根深蒂固,简直就是我国童鞋的硬伤。无论是描述一件事情有多么深远的意义,还是描述一个东西有多么有意思,总是反复不停地说:“这个事情有意义是因为这是多么有意义的一件事”“这个东西是多么的有趣是因为这是一个多么有趣的东西”(此处省略一万字)。

因此,童鞋们,请跟我一起来举例子——“这个东西多么的有趣是因为有一次我带着这个东西出去玩然后……”

致命伤4: 跑题

这类童鞋一定是和咱一样从高中万恶的语文作文开始就发散性思维太严重,有从一开始就跑的,还有走到半路说着说着就跑偏了的。

前两天刚看到一个童鞋交上来的一篇作文中题目是这样的,“Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Always telling the truth is the most important consideration in any relationship between people.”

然后该童鞋在作文中大致思路如是写道:“Always telling the truth”是不理性的,而TA认为我们应该做一个理性的人,TA自己是理工科的学生,TA觉得理工科的学生更为理性,而文科的学生总是不那么理性……然后就没有然后了,请计算老师收到该作文时的心理阴影面积。

致命伤5: 自相矛盾

出现这个情况的童鞋,和跑题的童鞋写文有着“异曲同工之妙”,跑题的童鞋是要么一开始就跑偏,要么半路跑偏。而自相矛盾的童鞋呢,不是举例子写着写着不知道怎么就矛盾了,就是写到后来写得自相矛盾了的。

有道题:Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People today spend too much time on personal enjoyment—doing things they like to do—rather than doing things they should do.

前两天有一位童鞋的作文里面,开头写自己“同意人们现在花太多时间在个人娱乐上”,并且说的也有理有据,说现在的人呐就知道打游戏BLABLA。结果写到后面,不知道肿木了,就写成了现在的人工作压力太大,家庭压力也很大,很多时间都花在了工作、家庭上,很少有时间能娱乐……(难道是触题伤感了?)童鞋们,请一定要坚定自己的立场呐!!

托福写作:题库范文附思路解析

1. What are the best ways of reducing stress? People have different ways of escaping the stress and difficulties of modern life. Some read; some exercise; others work in their gardens. What do you think are the best ways of reducing stress? Use specific details and examples in your answer. 『分析』 [169]给出了答案,选择听音乐,那么这篇作文同时可以应对[169]。

『范文』 With today's hectic schedules, it is necessary to spend some time each day to relax, and let the stress dissipate from our bodies and minds. Most people find that the working world is quite difficult at times, and need a method to relax. I find that the best way to relax is to read a good book, because it allows me to escape from real life, it gives me a new perspective on the world, and reading a book is very peaceful. I find that reading a good fiction novel is the best way to forget about my troubles during the day. Many of the books I read have fascinating plot lines, which allow me to be absorbed into the drama and action. When you are completely captivated with your book, nothing in the outside world seems to exist anymore. Of course, one cannot stay in this dreamland forever, but for an hour or so a day, it is very calming. Reading books can also have the added benefit of increasing my knowledge' and giving me a new perspective of the outside world. Even a fictional book can have this effect. When an author writes a book, it is full of his nuances and feelings about how the world works. By reading these works, I find that I understand more about other people, and how people think. This allows me to be more accepting of others on a daily basis, and also stops me from building up stress in the first place. Finally, the most important reason as to why reading a book is good for taking care of stress and relaxing, is that it is a very peaceful activity. You do not need to go anywhere to read a book. You can stay at home, perhaps sit in your favorite chair, and have the house be completely quiet. Reading does not involve anything but you and your book. Also, if there does happen to be noise around you, it is possible to block out that noise once you become engrossed in the plot line.

2. Should teachers be paid according to how much their students learn? Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Teachers should be paid according to how much their students learn. Give specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

『分析』不能同意。乍看起来(at the first glance)很有道理。问题在于:教育不是商品。如何保证能够确切地衡量学生究竟学到了多少?学生学到多少,并不是老师一个人的事情,还要看学生自身的素质(quality);能力(capacity)等等。如果采取了这样的方式,就会出现老师迎合(cater to/ pander to/ play up to students' taste)学生而不是引导 (guide; lead)学生,违背了教育的原则。

『范文』 People usually believe that teachers have the most important job in all of society. They raise our children to be forward-thinking, bright individuals. They ensure that children get along with each other, and learn to work together as a team. As such, being a teacher typically means a stable paycheck. However, when some people propose that teachers should be paid according to how much their students learn, I can hardly agree. First of all, students may not be interested in learning. When students are not interested in learning, the teacher can hardly be held responsible. The teacher can grade them harshly, keep them in after class, and discipline them severely, but the students will still not learn if they do not want to. If the teacher is trying his/her best to teach the students, and the information is presented clearly and succinctly, he/she can do no better job. Moreover, there is a limit on how much a child can learn. If a teacher was to be paid according to how much his/her students learned, there would be a certain point where he/she could teach them no more. I remember when I was in high school, there would be moments in the year when I didn't think I could fit any more information into my head. This was not my teacher's fault, and the point is that I just was not absorbing the material. I think many teachers would find this problem if they were paid by how much their students learnt. Most importantly, teachers should not be paid according to how much their students learn because some of the lessons that a student learns cannot be measured by a test. We cannot simply give children a test to discover how much they have learnt in a class. Tests rarely measure one's social skills, one's ability to communicate, or one's ability to integrate successfully into the world. However, it is the teachers who help students to manifest these qualities.

3. The thing representing your country If you were asked to send one thing representing your country to an international exhibition, what would you choose? Why? Use specific reasons and details to explain your choice.

『分析』随便选一样东西,比如熊猫、瓷器。

『范文』 If I were to send one thing to an international exhibition that represented my culture, it would be rice. Chinese culture, boasting a lengthy history, is composed of numerous sub-cultures. The agricultural way of life, centered around rice, has played a vastly important part in the country's history. For thousands of years, the Chinese have been diligently cultivating their land. Blood, sweat and tears have been shed over their soil in the pursuit of favorable harvests. This reliance on the land for so many thousands of years accounts for China's strong rural essence. The need for rice production has led the Chinese to pay particular attention to irrigation technologies and improving cultivation. The agricultural way of life, centered on rice, has had a strong influence on the social, economic, political and ideological developments of ancient China. In this sense, traditional Chinese culture may be considered a "rice culture." "A meal without rice," the Chinese say, "is like a beautiful woman with only one eye." In China, where the word for rice is also the word for food, young girls are warned that every grain of rice they leave in their bowls will be a pockmark on the face of their future husbands. Instead of saying, "How are you?" as a typical greeting, the Chinese ask "Have you had your rice today?" Quitting or losing a job is called "breaking the rice bowl" and it is bad luck to upset a bowl of rice. Rice is also a very important commodity in today's society. It is one of the major exports in China, allowing people all over the world to take part in something that emanates Chinese culture. Rice remains a staple food for both the rich and the poor, and there is hardly a meal had in our country that does not involve this fine grain. As you can see from the above-mentioned text, rice is an integral part of Chinese culture and tradition. While Chinese culture is spread over a vast number of arts and crafts, I believe that it is the humble, but profound rice that speaks to us all, and most poignantly represents the essence of our culture.

4. Be assigned a roommate, or choose your own roommate? You have been told that dormitory rooms at your university must be shared by two students. Would you rather have the university assign a student to share a room with you, or would you rather choose your own roommate? Use specific reasons and details to explain your answer.

『分析』陈述学校分配的好处陈述自己选择的好处 (注意,两种方法都有缺点) 选择立场。选择让学校分配吧,有更多的话说,还显得自己大度(open-minded and magnanimous)一些。

『范文』 Going to university is an exciting time in a young person's life. Part of the experience is living in the campus dormitory, and it is the first time for person away from his/her parents, in many cases. If one has to share a room with another student, I believe that it is better that the university picks the prospective roommate. When a young person first goes to university, he/she often moves straight to the school from his/her bedroom at his/her parents' house. This usually means that the person has no idea of the qualities necessary to be a good roommate. Perhaps the young person would choose to live with a good friend. While this situation could be a very happy one, it could also be disastrous. Getting along with a friend as a roommate, if not properly handled, could quickly ruin the relationship. If the school picks one's roommate, this is less likely to happen. In many cases, young people travel out of the city they grew up in to go to university. For many of these students, picking a potential roommate would be difficult. They know very few people in the new city, let alone at the university. This can lead to very stressful situations. If one is trying to settle into a new environment, but also must find a roommate to live with, he/she might find the whole experience overwhelming. Finally, I think having the school choose roommates rather than the individuals is a good idea because living with a person you do not know can be a rewarding experience. A stranger can quickly turn into one's best friend, as memories are forged while living together in a confined space.

5. Spend money on developing or buying computer technology, or on more basic needs? Some people think that governments should spend as much money as possible on developing or buying computer technology. Other people disagree and think that this money should be spent on more basic needs. Which one of these opinions do you agree with? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer. 参见:[11]、[19]、[95]

『范文』 I believe that governments spend too much money on new computer technologies, when they should be focusing on the needs or people in their countries. There are a number of reasons why I think this would be a better usage of a country's money. Throughout the world, there are millions and millions of people who are homeless, and cannot afford to eat. These people need help from the government. If the government has so much money to spend on computer technology, they should easily be able to have enough money to help these people gain entry to the working world. The government could set up programs which allow homeless people to train for jobs. This would be a much better way to spend money than building computers. Pollution is another major problem which plagues all of the industrial nations. Instead of spending money frivolously, we should be focusing on how to fix the one we live on. The ozone layer is getting thinner and thinner every year, which means that the sun's radiation is causing more damage to people and the environment. The governments need to design a method to drastically reduce pollution. In addition to the problems of pollution and homelessness, the general population could use the money as well. In many countries, including our own, the health care and education systems leave something to be desired. I think that more money should be put towards making citizens healthier and wiser. With that said, many of the above disagreements need the help of the computer industry. Computers can help governments to keep track of all of the people they need to take care of, and programs can be designed which help isolate problems with the environment. Computers are important, as long as a government does not forget to taking care of its people.


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